DesiDabba - Boss, Thoda Sa Roomani Ho Jaye

Let’s cut the bullshit here: Singh is Kinng is complete waste of human mindspace. Nothing new though, most Bollywood commercial films are in the same league and yet I am cent percent certain that this Kinng is going to rule the Box office for the next few weeks or perhaps months (Heyy Baby and Welcome are perfect examples).

The deal is, we seem to have a thing for bad movies… not really bad ones, like Fool and Final and that other horrendous Riteish Deshmukh one (Kya Kool Hain Hum was it?), but somehow, our spam filter seems to hit a blind spot when it comes to a bad ones. Let me explain. We’re at a stage in our viewing pattern where the bigger and more grandiose a movie seems, the more viewable we automatically think it is. That’s mostly why we loved ‘seeing’ Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Forget the fact that it was a horrible movie as storyline and acting go. There was bling, and we were dazzled.

Bling’s latest sample is our tinsel town’s leading pair (I’m talking of gorgeous Katrina Kaif and even more gorgeous Akshay Kumar) latest – Singh is Kinng. A morality tale straight from the ‘60s, we have seeda-saada Akshay play a sardarji who must bring back Lakkan to sadda gaon, to mamma pappa who’re missing their don son who’s been cooling his heels Down Under for a while now. Surrounded by a faithful Khalsa army, don is most unwilling to return… till ‘Happy’ Akshay forces him into temporary retirement. During the time our don plays zombie butler on wheels (he can’t talk, he can’t walk, but he can think) Akshay wins over Katrina (who, interestingly is writing a book on criminals, but still believes in killing them all… was that a fantasy novel she was planing on writing?) and converts all criminals to human beings with love and understanding. (Tissues anyone??)

So, yeah. Utter crap.

But, high on the bling quotient. Akshay totally rocks in the title track, and Katrina looks lovely. When I went, the hall was full of Sardarji families, who clapped, cheered and whistled… and turned to someone in their group laughing whenever the names Puneet, Happy, and Lucky came up. Which, I must add, was pretty often.

Honourable mention: Kirron Kher, for being the delectable aunty with a gold of heart and a rose of luck; Javed Jaffrey for his hilarious accents; and Ranvir Shorey for playing the jealous boyfriend rather well.