DesiDabba - Boss, Thoda Sa Roomani Ho Jaye

A good friend writes,

The movie was a treat for the senses. The background music, sound design, camerawork, special effects - all worked towards narrating the idea. Nope, I cannot make myself say I saw a story; it was a visual description of an idea - a ‘what if…?’ Such cinema might not be the proverbial “everyone’s cup of tea.

And she couldn’t be more correct. Anurag Kashyap’s hyped up most awaited release is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea – it’s actually not anyone’s cup of tea. Coming to think of it, it’s not even a cup of tea, coffee, Breezer or thanda. It’s in fact a stylish, empty but yet stinking ashtray.

Now don’t get me wrong here, if you have been reading this blog for long then you would surely know how tolerant I am of Indian cinema. Despite umpteen warnings, I still did watch (and in some cases even enjoyed) films like Meenaxi, Abhay, RVG Ki Aag, Being Cyrus and the likes. But No Smoking simply stands out – Yes, it’s a dark film. Yes, it treads on the European experimental lines. And yes, it’s a “hatke” film but the problem here is that it is so “hatke” that audience (if any left) ka dimaag satak jayega.

Yet, despite the pathetic reviews all across the media. Notwithstanding friends & family calling me a nut job, I went ahead with No Smoking, dragging two other innocent acquaintances along. However things did get a wee-bit scary when I realized that we were only 7 occupying a multiplex screen with a capacity of nearly 200 (even RVG Ki Aag had a better attendance record re). And to top it all up, the screen next door was running houseful – thanks to Mr. Imitaz Ali.

Anyway getting back to Desperately Need a Smoke No Smoking…

- Story and script wise, as my friend above mentioned – there isn’t any.

- Direction wise - well it’s difficult to imagine that this film is made by the same guy who brought us Black Friday. Agreed the two films are world apart, genre wise but for crying out loud they are also at two extremes; one an example of brilliance and the other shot-in-the-head. The thing is, I sincerely believe in a popular karmic gyaan, “what goes around comes around” – So Mr. Kashyap, if you go out of your way to be critical of others, others will only do the same with you. And no number of blog posts or explanations from your end will change that blunt reality.

- John Abraham – I have to say, he is the ONLY part of the film that doesn’t disappoint. Meaning, we know that this man can’t act and no film-maker, even someone as genius as Mr. Kashyap can’t make him act and true to these words – that’s what he exactly did in this film. He didn’t act.

- Ranvir Shorey and Paresh Rawal – completely wasted.

- Ayesha Takia – Someone please enroll her at the nearest gym.

The only saving grace (now don’t look so shocked)…

- Some portions are very well shot – example, Ranvir and John’s childhood flashback and the hazy spirit hovering around from time to time.

- Torture has a time-limit of only two hours.

- Sizzling Bipasha song, “Phook De”…sadly come only when the credits start rolling. I believe it’s an incentive to keep the audience glued to their seat because the film, itself miserably fails to do so.

I guess the only person truly happy with the outcome of No Smoking must be Ram Gopal Verma – yaar, finally a film even more crappier than his Sholay remake is out and that too conceptualized by his dearest protégé.

Final Words – No Smoking is kind-da bizarre demented film. And no matter how tolerant you are of such type of cinema, with most certainty this one will be difficult to digest. All I can say is that, if Anurag sir still is persistent on making such European DVD-rehashed experimental films than he is better off experimenting in Europe. Or at least be courteous enough to release such films with a statutory warning – “Only for Zombies”.