DesiDabba - Boss, Thoda Sa Roomani Ho Jaye

Not since Einstein came up with e=mc² has a more universal equation been coined: SRGMP – Reshammiya = 0. If Himesh hadn’t jumped in and saved SRGMP last week by singing that one song of his (he keeps changing the lyrics each time – nice trick), the show would have sucked.

Several times a week the gurus and mahagurus of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa 2007 Challenge lecture their contestants on singing. They give them points, torpedo two of them and make them cry. So what if we were to reverse the situation – rate the people who are in the front and center of the show and see if they come up smelling roses?

I am in awe of Head’s (host Aditya Narayan) milquetoast amicability. I even like how he ducks and weaves like a flyweight boxer when he’s holding the mike. But he is a terrible host – often letting the show run away from him and asking the same inane questions in embarrassed, hushed tones to losing contestants. And while I’m at it – Head, you need to add a bob to your routine otherwise I can see a left arm roundhouse pole-axing you in a heartbeat. Aur mehenat karo! 35/100

Asha Bhonsle was the mahaguru in the first segment of the show. Ashaji, the way you dismantled a song and then put it back together again was fascinating. And your wink-wink nexus with Vishal-Shekhar and constant needling of Himesh Reshammiya was fun to watch. Yet it disappointed me that you came down hard on women who dared to display spunk and sensuality. Yet there is no question I miss you already. Do come back – but do so with an open mind about the evolution of singing in Bollywood. 80/100

The new mahagurus – Rajesh Roshan (you know, the first of the two Roshan brothers who publicly ceded that he was bald) and Khayyam – put me to sleep. Well, there was that one time when Khayyam thundered “Masha-Allah! Chasme Buddoor!” that I did wake up. But then even toothpicks couldn’t keep my eyelids up. 0/100

Bappida, you are so fashion forward with your gorgeous outfits that it is safe to say no one will dare to try and catch up with you. The blaze emanating from your bling leaves me bedazzled. I love that coy smile whenever your gharana is called on the floor. The show desperately needs some jhatka – I know you are the one who can provide it. 70/100

Ismail Darbar, I’m not sure about that cuddly lab rat look. But your direct and informal approach to mentoring is interesting. Your alliance with Himesh also makes sure the true star of this show stays engaged. Your sense of drama could use some tweaking, but no one is perfect – not even one who demands perfection from their students. 60/100

When it comes to starting a jhagda, no one does it better than you, Vishal and Shekhar. And the show gets a lot of juice from it – never mind that its bitter juice. Without that flavor the show would be dead and you’d all have to go back home unless you can find a lot of good singers - which doesn’t look like happening this season. 65/100

Himesh, the show had its poorest episodes when you went kutti with your fellow mentors and refused to say much. However, your flicking of Vishal like a fly in last week’s episode was a joy to behold. Your sense of drama and timing are also noteworthy. Just when SRGMP was flagging you jumped out of your seat and promised to give a losing contestant one of your compositions. Then you ordered the orchestra to join in, jumped on stage and sang that song. Bravo! 100/100