DesiDabba - Boss, Thoda Sa Roomani Ho Jaye

Last night I managed to catch a little bit of Femina Pantaloons Miss India 2007 on Sony, though my main focus of interest on the tele-box was Koffee With Karan and then Australia Vs. England Cricket World Cup match.

To me this beauty pageant and its outcome was as crappy as the previous year and the year before and the year before that year and so on and so forth. Undoubtly the best Miss India contest was in the year 1994 when Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai were crowned the winners and later on went on to win Miss Universe and Miss World pageants respectively.

Most of the contestants and their spoken words were precise definition of “plastic”, none even remotely natural. 24-year-old Sarah-Jane Dias, a Channel [V] VJ won the main title of Miss India-World – who in my opinion was loaded with confidence but appeared to be so darn fake, I would have preferred Pooja Chitgopekar (2nd runner up) instead, any day.

Anyways not everything was all that dull and I did find some pretty noteworthy plus points.

Let me start with Adnan Sami, who happened to be one of the celebrity judges for the contest. And boy! Has this man lost weight or what? Off late I did read couple of news articles announcing the arrival of “thinner” version of this musician but as its often said, “seeing is believing”. Apparently the man now weighs 97 kilos and looks pretty happy with this achievement. Not only was he looking slimmer and trimmer last night but also appeared to be in a peppy naughty mood while interacting with the contestants. All I can say is…kudos to you man. In all certainties, Adnan Sami should have been crowned as the winner instead.

Moving on, a few words on Priyanka Chopra who also was on judges panel. Now as cool and chilled out Adnan was, Priyanka seemed equally stiff and icy. It looked as if she had a flashback fit of her Miss. India days. Her words and attitude seemed to be scripted by some sloppy film writer and don’t even get me started on her pretentious smiles and head nods. And what the heck was she wearing, a tight white gown in which her boobs were practically screaming out of suffocation. To me it appears, she is clearly hanging around with the wrong crowd in Bollywood. Maybe some tips from (not) close pal Kareena Kapoor may come handy.

Performance wise, I thought Tushhar Kapoor and Koena Mitra did a pretty good job. They danced well, looked good and clearly seemed to be enjoying themselves. Obviously the people behind the remix-music and choreography also deserve positive credit for the act. Don’t know if many of you noticed this or not, Koena Mitra’s perfectly toned stomach in all probability must be the envy of many desi-heroines. And I am 100% sure Priyanka Chopra would agree with me on this.

The next dance act performed by Lara Dutta was easily the best from the lot. She danced to the tunes of Bollywood songs originally performed by international beauty contest winners who are now well-known Bollywood actresses. She started off with Zeenat Aman’s popular hit and believe me, Lara looked as ravishing and sexy as the desi-bikini queen. Her dance moves were perfect with a capital T and at one point it appeared as if her skin had this bright glittery effect. She is truly a stunner.

And lastly, whoever scripted and directed the Femina Miss India’s official video showed be handed a national award for their excellent work. The video basically has all the 25 contestants dressed in sky-blue saris, moving around within the walls of some old mill or fort with their names flashing on the screen one after the other. The background score, if I am not mistaken is remixed version of “Maula Mere Maula” from the film Anwar. The artistic effort put in, not only makes each and every woman in it a perfect example of beauty personified but it also evokes a feel-good factor in those watching it. Definitely a masterpiece.

Everything else was nothing but same shit just different stink.

Just for old-times sake, look what I found on YouTube. Clipping of 1994 Miss India.